Sometimes I cry, and there is stillness.
Another time I'm angry and I want to say how selfish you were.
I cry again because I'm confused by your choice.
You understood what other minds couldn't comprehend.
You crossed the boundaries and you decided to give me a chance.
You helped me survive in a strange place.
You loved effortlessly.
You encouraged.
You tried to live carefree.
You had strength.
You were Pure-just like the meaning of your name.
But now your story has ended and it's a sinking feel that only gets worse with every passing hour.
I remember your voice. Unable to get it out of my head.
I may can never understand.
Because these stories don't make sense.
It breaks my heart because I'll never be able to hear from you now.
We were supposed to see each other again. Don't you remember?
I emailed you, wondering where was the reply...
Only to get a hard confirmation on your decision.
All I have now are memories and that hurts because I want more with you.
Memories of laughter, nightly talks, Port of Spain, dinner parties, fast talking, piercings, painful study night sessions, food, jogging in afternoons and more nightly talks.
Memories of a friend.
I try my best to keep you alive in memory but it hurts.
Every time I allow myself to remember, there's a heat behind my eyes and every ounce of me erupts in sadness.
There are days when I want to be angry and curse every hurt you have ever felt.
I want the source of the pain which caused this to happen to you and destroy it so that it never hurts again.
But I know instead of wallowing in the pain.
I have to let you go.
You must have wanted to be free of this marred world. So, I will give you that.
But you must understand that you became a large part of mine and memories of you are etched everywhere in my mind.
Your served your purpose and left behind a trail of beautiful memories.
Memories of a pure soul who loved her friends so tirelessly.
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